Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Guts

Grit. Iron. Moxey. Cahonies. What does that mean to you?

When I was growing up, I thought it meant being brave in the face of physical danger. To prove my bravery to myself and my compadres, I would climb the highest tree, or jump from a higher limb than anyone else. I would drive the fastest on the ATV or hold my breath the longest underwater.

But deep down, I was scared. Not of physical pain but of emotional trauma. I was scared of people, of social situations. I could do a backflip off of the diving board without blinking (and it WAS scary every time I made myself do it), but I would hide in the woods rather than face a room full of strangers.

This weekend, I witnessed a different kind of courage. The kind that I did NOT have, growing up.

Savannah stayed with me Sat and Sun night. I was scheduled to drop her off at her audition on Sunday afternoon. This was to be her first REAL audition....I'm talking singing with piano accompaniment and an unrehearsed script reading in front of strangers. Scary stuff. Stuff I wouldn't have dreamed of doing at her age. At ANY age.

We spent Saturday evening picking raspberries and walking the dogs. Later, we watched "The Village" and ate fried raspberry pies with ice cream. It was a fun girls night in. Throughout the evening, I would ask Savannah questions about the audition. Was she nervous? Did she need help practicing her song? Each time, she would calmly reply that she was looking forward to it and ready to go. Alrighty, then. I tried not to let on how nervous that I was for her! I tossed and turned all that night, having nightmares about not getting her to the theatre on time, or forgetting her sheet music, etc. She slept like a lamb and was cheerfully ready-to-roll the next morning.

After a breakfast of raspberry pancakes, we headed off to the audition.

We sat there and watched as kids came filing in, singly and in groups. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. These kids were like Broadway professionals. Try to imagine sitting there and watching as the crowd of mostly 12-14 yr olds gathered. With each new arrival there were rounds of hugs and compliments showered upon one another, lots of lip gloss and eye shadow and dramatic accessories; high heels, artsy outfits and lively discussion of previous performances, dance classes and shared accquaintances. Meanwhile there I sat with Savannah, dressed in her simple t-shirt, khaki shorts and comfortable sneakers, hair demurely pulled back in a headband, filling out her paperwork and reading over her lines quiet as a mouse. We got a few curious glances, but were mostly ignored in the bustle. Savannah was not oblivious to what was going on around her; I could see that. She took it all in. But in the face of this daunting crowd, she was as stalwart as a general on the battlefield.


At this point, two courses of action were in my head. The first and strongest impulse was to gather her up and RUN away back to my house in the mountains, never to return to the theatre---or the outside world for that matter---thereby saving her from any emotional trauma. EVER. The second was to immediatley begin giving her advice on how to handle these wolves, er, I mean kids. What to say, how to get "in" with them. Which ones to AVOID being friendly with, etc.

In the end, I just sat there. This was her battle and she was obviously willing to fight it. She was nervous, yes. But she was ready. She was NOT there for the other kids and she was not going to be intimidated by them. She was there to peform. She was there to learn. She was there because she loves it. So we just sat there. Guts, man. Pure. Guts.

I didn't get to see her audition, as it was behind closed doors. When she came out, she seemed a bit preoccupied but still cool as a cucumber. She simply said it went "Okay". Tough nut to crack, that one.

After costume measurements were taken, the group was herded into the auditorium and given a crash course on one of the meticuloulsy choreographed dance routines. I was able to watch a little of it. This was not elementary stuff they were learning. It was not easy. When she came out, she admitted that it was hard but smiled, all the same, and said that it had been fun!

That evening, over chocolate fondue and "King Kong", I kept trying to get her to open up a little further about the audition, gently plying her for more info. She didn't have much to say, other than that she was definitley looking forward to the next day. And when the next day came, she was sure enough ready to roll. And sure enough ready for me to drop her off...and LEAVE. She thanked me sincerely, gave me a hug and basically, very sweetly-----dismissed me. I drove away praying hard for her.

The courage to face new tasks, new social situations. Puttng yourself in uncomfortable, potentially embarassing circumstances in order to learn and grow. Now THAT's the kind of guts that gets you somewhere in life!

She found out Monday that she has been chosen for a speaking part in the play. She's gotten to know a few of the kids and is having a wonderful time of it.

It occured to me later that by the time all was said and done, Savannah would get to know the kids in this class and make some friends, too. She would meet new people and learn and have fun. She always does, in every class/activity she's ever been involved with. Her opinion of the other kids was not automatically jaded by their appearance or experience or idle chatter, as mine was. So I kept my opinions about the other kids to myself. I did, very non-chalantly of course, share with her the little bit of "insider" info that I gathered by covertly watching the other kids fill out there bio sheets. Names, ages, experience, etc. I let this information slip out casually in hopes that it will come back to her if she should need it. Hey, it's always good to know who you're hyena's, um, I mean FRIENDS really are, right? *wink-wink* ;0)

I just finished reading Melissa's post on the same subject (great minds think alike, ROFL!!!) and Savannah was SO right on her judgement of Mr. Thirty-something (who's actually 18--don't ask me how I know that). Not only is she gutsy, she's perceptive, too! The girl's gonna go far!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Summer Fun with the Kids

I picked up Austin, Savannah and Jackson Wednesday evening to spend the night and part of Thursday with me. We had a great time together! We did a little shopping, then came home and sat around a campfire and related our scariest dreams to each other.

Poor S was up sick half of the night, but was bright-eyed and bushy tailed the next morning. I fixed us all Mexican omelets and then we gathered up the dogs and headed out to pick wild black rasberries.



S and J and Elvis headed down the road to the rasberry patches
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Austin goofin' around
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The whole berry-pickin' crew!
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We ended up with quite the haul of sweet, juicy rasberries. I'm going to make ...well...something out of them. Probably cobbler or fried pies. We'll see. Either way, how can you lose? :0)



After berry-picking, we armed ourselves with bug repellent and piled into the car--dogs and all---and headed out to a creek in the National Forest.


Hilda and Jackson both quite at home in their natural element!!
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Savannah and Austin taking a dip
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Pretty things we saw
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IMG_1594Savannah took this picture. I think I see an assistant in the making!! Great angle and composition, too!
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Austin sharpening a stick and having a go at spear fishing
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Hilda being her usual "helpful" self
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Skipping stones
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Savannah on the trail with Hilda
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Hilda's big adventure on the log---she lost some serious cool points, there! :0)
H on a log

Jackson catches a water snake
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Elvis participating in his favorite water-related frolic: destroying big sticks. The Big E is 13 years old now and STILL a force to be reckoned with. Who needs ADT??? This is the same dog that happily curled up beside Jackson on the futon the night before, gentle as a lamb. Good dog!! :0)
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We arrived back at my house wet, tired and happy. I can't wait until we can go out and do it again!! I just heard about a HUGE swimming hole in a nearby river. I think that might be our next adventure together.

They all have busy summer schedules (and so do I!), so it's harder to get together and do these things. But it's SO worth the effort to get to spend time with them. Thanks for all the fun, guys!! Looking forward to next time! :0)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Dog Tale

George was my dog, growing up. He was a lovable, rambunctious mutt who was a partner in many of my adventures around the farm. We had other dogs, through the years whom I loved just as much, but George was the first pet that I felt was "mine." We were pretty tight.

 He was not a large dog, but he was fearless with other dogs and jealous of my attention. Scruffy, sweet and feisty.

I have so many fond memories in which ole Gerogie-porgie played a part. The one I'm about to unfold made a huge impression on me and made a hero out of someone I already loved.

One of the main features of our farm was the Hog House. It was a state of the art building, the very latest in hog farming technology. In the Hog House office, resided my Uncle D's ex-police dog, a big German Shepherd named Boss who answered only to Uncle D. Boss was always nice to me, and we liked him and petted him, but he really was HUGE and intimidating.

One day, as I was playing down around the barn, I headed past the Hog House with George at my heels, and didn't notice that the office door had been left ajar. George did. When Boss stuck his huge head out of the open door, little George made a bee line for him. Boss, leapt down the steps towards him and for a few endless, breathless seconds they just stood and growled at each other, fangs bared. I was struck dumb with breathless terror. I KNEW what was about to happen and there was nothing I could do. And when it did happen, it was with the suddenness and volume of a car crash. Boss had poor little George by the throat and was shaking him mercilessly. I screamed and screamed at Boss to stop, but my small voice was lost in the din.

I was horrified and helpless. The teenaged farmhand heard the din and came running. At my harried, tearful suggestion, he yelled and hit Boss with a shovel, but it was no use---the big guy wasn't even phased--he continued to tear into my poor George. I ran to the farm truck, turned the key and the engine  started (something I had NEVER done before and had only a vague notion of even HOW to do!). This activated the CB radio system that was installed up at our house and in all of the farm/family vehicles. I pleaded, through my tears, into the CB for someone to please help----"Boss is killing George!!"I sobbed.

I was completely desperate. There was no one to help! There was nothing I could do. All I could think of was getting Boss to let go of George. I reached into my back pocket and felt for one of my most prized possessions---my eagle claw knife. I pulled it out and looked up at the farmhand. " I have this...?" and gestured with the knife. To which he replied "Naw…I'm not doin' that. I'm afraid he'd turn on me, man".

He is a coward, I thought to myself. I had always thought of him as almost an adult---now he seemed just as young and helpless as me. Truth was, I was terrified, too, seeing how fast and powerful and huge Boss really was in action. I ran back into the Hog House, where Boss had drug George, teeth still gripping his neck, biting and snarling and shaking the smaller dog like a rag doll. George was making less and less noise and I became even more scared and started crying harder.

I ran back outside, sobbing desperately. I reached into my back pocket and once again pulled out the knife. I remember the seconds ticking by like hours as I stood looking at that curved blade; hearing the awful din of my dog being killed. If I stabbed Boss, would it make him let go of George? Would he then turn his terrifying fury on me? Should I do it? COULD I do it?

Thankfully, I did not have to make that decision. At that moment I heard a coughing noise from up the road. I looked up to see a sight that, to this day is burned into my memory. It was my Uncle D. He was running towards me down the barn road, flannel shirt untucked and flapping. He was literally gasping for air and stumbling, pale as a ghost, but running, all the same.

I don't know what was more shocking to me at that moment: Looking up to see him there (I had no idea he was anywhere around) or seeing him "running". Adults, in my world, did not run.

Turns out, poor Uncle D was very ill with the flu and was up at our house sleeping when he had heard my pitiful, sobbing plea come over the CB's base unit. Sick and weak as he was, he jumped up and ran ALL the way, more than half a mile, down to the Hog House to save my poor George.

I never will forget, after the initial shock of seeing him actually moving at a pace faster than his usual cool saunter, the relief that began to fill my whole being when I realized help had arrived. Uncle D ran straight past me and into the Hog House and got Boss off of George. He looked absolutely terrible, panting and gaunt from sickness, but he saved my George and he saved the day.

   At about the same time, Mom and Dad came barreling down the barn road in their car, dust flying. They also, had heard my call come over the CB. Before I could think what to do next, George was running past me. He'd been freed from his attacker by Uncle D, and was high-tailing it straight to the house. I could see the blood on his neck, but he was moving fast and I took that as a good sign!

Well, after a trip to the vet and a whole bunch of stitches, George was on the mend.
And in a few days, he was back to his spunky, feisty self. He was forbidden from accompanying me to the barn, for a while until new quarters could be arranged for Boss. Other than that, life was back to normal.

 Uncle D never said a word about having to run down, sick as a dog, and and literally save George's neck. And, heck, he may not even remember it now. But I do. I'll never forget that day. Uncle D was my hero.

 When talking about this story, years and years later my sister wisely commented "I remember that day. I remember hearing your voice on the radio coming into the house. I remember Uncle D taking off out of the house. I can assure you it was not for George that he ran........it was for you!"

Thanks, Uncle D!


Sunday, June 10, 2007

Where I've been

About a month and a half ago, I bent over to blow dry my hair and someone jammed a knife into my back and twisted it. A stiff-necked, emergency trip to the chiropractor clued me in on the fact that there was not, in fact, a dagger sticking out of my spine. Apparently, I had about a zillion severely pinched nerves and cramping muscles as a result of a body surfing incident a couple of years back. Who knew? Crazy.

Anyway, long story short, I spent most of the last 6 weeks being completely sedentary. No exercising, very little outdoor work, no hiking, etc. My only real activity was the portriat work and weddings I had to shoot during that and I relied heavily upon ibuprofen and my assistants to get them done. God bless them both!!

After a whole slew of Dr's visits and such, I'm finally able to get back to an active lifestyle. This has put me seriously behind on the whole beach-body-by-summer goal. SERIOUSLY. But I'm back on the wagon. Workout hard and eat right. Firm and tan by beach time. It CAN be done!! :0)

This is my busiest summer, to date. Weddings and portraits and such are filling my calendar. It's really making me chomp at the bit to get into a bigger studio so I can capitalize on the return business when it comes.

I've found a little spot of land that I like. About 8 acres out in the country with a killer mountain view. It's gorgeous. I'm in the process of asking questions---will it perk, any restrictions to building, etc. We'll see!

My vegetable garden is just lovely. I doubled it's size from last year and I'm almost wishing I'd made it a little bigger, still. I'll be enjoying my first FRESH green salad this evening. With a low cal dressing, of course!

I've started working on some posts about growing up on the farm. So, I should have a little more in the way of interesting/entertaining subject matter to divert my ever-faithful readers in the next few days.

Thanks for stoppin' by to read my stuff! :0)