Every date is an interview. You are, at the same time, the interviewer and the interviewee. You must ask all the right questions, without appearing to really care too deeply what the reply might be--it's all just very casual, you know (inside your head you are feverishly taking notes and judging). You must answer all of his questions succinctly, without appearing to be TOO nervous--you know, so he doesn't realize you're lying (just kidding about the lying, heh-heh). You must answer his questions as honestly, yet, as non-threateningly as possible. I hate confrontation. On a first date? It's just not worth it. You can tell pretty quickly whether there'll be a second date in the works or not. I'd rather try to enjoy my meal and then go home and seethe about what he said later.
If he's handsome, the whole process is much more difficult. There's this little part of you that's thinking "Don't ask him THAT!! Don't answer that HONESTLY!! You'll never get a second date that way!! Just sit here, sip your wine, and try to look pretty---just try to look PRETTY, you fool!" That little voice must be silenced and quickly. Gotta stay focused!! Keep him talking on intelligent and potentially controversial subject matter. Things that will push my buttons, if he disagrees with me--politics, religion, the proper cooking/serving temperature of beef, etc. Do NOT let his hotness distract you!!
On the first date, every word that comes out of your mouth and his, every gesture, every expression. It's all being sifted and weighed. Your outfit, makeup, hair, vehicle, firmness of handshake, freshness of breath...all being judged. Talk about pressure.
However.
A date anytime I want to go out. A nice meal and a nice adult beverage. The possibility, the hope that this might be a potential friend or even a potential mate that I'm meeting tonight. Those things keep me motivated.
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4 comments:
This is so funny, I have heard almost the same thing from my brother. He has run into 2 types of dates, so far, either they want him to move in immediately or they are all over him wanting to have sex the first night. He is so not into doing that. He went out with one girl, one time, and when he told her he didn't think he was interested in going out a second time she sent him these nasty emails. What is up with people?
Good luck on the dating front, from what I hear it's not alot of fun.
Have a great day!
Bridget
Hope springs eternal! Mr. Right is out there...all in God's timing. Do you get tired of hearing that? I'm just glad you have a sense of humor about it and the ability to express it so well. Thanks for sharing your adventures!
I may be crazy but there is a part of me that envies you! I wasn't as smart as you (I was 18) when I met DH. And although I love him ferverently we are both very different in sometimes important ways. While I"m hoping that makes for well rounded children (or they will be after they seek counseling when they leave the house - haha), it makes for difficult times. Feeling alienated and alone when you should feel support. I'm talking about him as well as me. We're both guilty of not always understanding each other.
So, I'm envious of your wisdom! Ipray my children have the same. I went for the hotness factor, and he made me laugh. He still makes me laugh, and he still looks good in uniform so it's all good. ;-)
I'm praying for your adventures. It's exciting anyway, I live through you...lol While I wouldn't trade the phase in "happily ever after" I'm in now, I do miss the beginning of it all. :-)
HUGS! Keep blogging for me! lol
Jess
Oh man! Keep the date stories coming! They crack me up.
~Em
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